Blue Chew! First off, these fuckers only sell to customers located in the USA currently, so unless you're living in the land of Trump, you're out of luck. Anyways, let’s talk about the miracle of modern medicine for a second. I know I spend most of my time rambling about how much I love teen blowjobs and lesbian orgies, but for real, I have a genuine appreciation for doctors, scientists, researchers, and massive pharmaceutical companies. A couple of generations ago, men got old, and their dicks stopped working. Period. Now they’ve got options like BlueChew.

 

Dick pills ain’t anything new. Those that actually work consistently from dude to dude haven’t been around long, though, and for years those ones were hard to get unless you had proper insurance. Normal dudes couldn’t score that shit unless they knew a good dealer. BlueChew.com offers Sildenafil (Viagra) and Tadalafil (Cialis) online, bypassing the lines and the dick inspection at the doctor’s office.

Real Viagra Available Online? Really?

Half of you are looking at this with total skepticism. Hell, I bet a good portion of you perverts found this review Googling BlueChew reviews to find out if this shit is legit. We’ve all seen the endless pop-up and pop-under ads on the free tubes offering days of stamina and an iron rod twice the length of your current flaccid meat shaft. Longtime masturbators have been closing those spam windows for decades now, and we know better than to order some “herbal Viagra” from China.

 

This shit ain’t the same. For one thing, the website is polished and professional, not junked up with broken Engrish and broken graphics. They have an exhaustive FAQ that gets into the details of their program and the medication. Also, they’ve been around for years, with testimonials and positive reviews around the net.

 

It’s easy enough to set up a scam website, but it’s impossible to run one for years without angry motherfuckers blowing up Google in forums, blogs, and consumer complaint sites. I spent some time really digging, trying to find somebody calling these guys out for fake boner pills, but all I found were positive experiences.

 

BlueChew has some video testimonials on the site. I tend to be skeptical of these, because it doesn’t take much to hire some infomercial actors. They do seem pretty enthusiastic about their erectile dysfunction treatments, though. If nothing else, it is a good sign that the site has a video of Americans hyping the product and not just a bunch of faceless, semi-literate quotes that were probably made up.

 

The website and its products have gotten several mentions in the media. 83 Weeks with Eric Bischoff touched on BlueChew, as did the Adam Carolla show, The Past Weekend with Theo Von, The Love Doctor, and ESPN Radio. They provide helpful links so you can go listen if you’re worried they’re blowing smoke up your ass.

 

Viagra isn’t considered a controlled substance, but it is regulated, and there are rules. BlueChew only works with American customers, and some of you are shit out of luck based on the laws of your state. If you live in Arkansas, Hawaii, Idaho, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Minnesota, Rhode Island, South Carolina, or Puerto Rico, you’ll have to keep getting your sexual enhancement drugs from the guy behind 7-11 with the dinner-plate pupils.

 

The treatments have FDA-approved active ingredients, as you’d expect. The tabs are made by a compounding pharmacy, which apparently isn’t FDA approved, but is still legal. You learn something new every day, huh?

 

We live in a beautiful time, my friends. Yeah, most of you can get actual boner pills online without the hassle of the waiting rooms, appointments, or an old Indian dude looking at your ding-a-ling. Let’s look at how it works.

How Does BlueChew Work?

The “What Is Included?” section on the landing page spells it out in really simple-ass language. You get a script for 30 MG Sildenafil or 6 MG Tadalafil chewable tabs with professional medical support and no doctor visits. Prices start as low as twenty bucks a month, which ain’t fucking bad at all to turn your sad worm into a mighty sword of power.

 

One of BlueChew’s brags is that their tabs are chewable, and they’re “dedicated to bringing prescription treatments for men who don’t like pills.” That’s called a gimmick, because it’s bullshit; how many grown-ass men do you know who are scared to pop a tiny blue pill? It vaguely differentiates the company from others selling generic Viagra online, but show me somebody who cares, and I’ll show you a sad dude who is probably afraid to get laid, too. 

 

Other parts of their “About Us” are much more appealing. Basically, the company lets patients sign up online, where they’re reviewed by licensed physicians and medical professionals. You enter your info, somebody looks it over, and if everything’s kosher, they write you a prescription and sell you some boner pills.

 

I’ve seen other online Cialis shops that make you pay for the online consultation, but at BlueChew, it’s free. Free is my favorite price, but their actual chewable tab prices ain’t bad either.

 

The site deals in monthly prescriptions, not one-offs because they ain’t the neighborhood crack dealer. The most basic package gets you 6 generic Viagras (30 MG Sildenafil) every month for $20, or you can get 10 for $30, 17 for $50, or 34 for $90. I love the inclusion of the big plans for the big humpers.

 

The Tadalafil (Cialis) scripts are a little more pricey. These start at $20 for 4, with the $90 option netting you 28 chewable 6 MG tablets. You’ll have to go a few days a month without getting your dick wet, but you’ll still be a damn super stud if you use all of those bad boys.

 

They’ve got a section in the FAQ about what to do if the product doesn’t work. The answer starts off by suggesting you switch to the other type of boner pill, but then goes on to say that yes, you can have a full refund within 30 days if your dick still ain’t getting hard.

Do I Want Sildenafil or Tadalafil?

The entirety of BlueChew.com is set up to be easy to use and informative. I guess I’m not as much of a dick pill connoisseur as I thought, because I had to dip into the section on whether Sildenafil or Tadalafil would be right for me.

 

Viagra is the original dick pill, and the one that most recreational sex-pill-poppers are familiar with. It lasts 4 to 6 hours. Tadalafil, or Cialis, is a little newer and lasts a whopping 24 to 36 hours. No wonder there’s such a big price difference.

 

The real consideration is going to be how you actually use these pills. As it says in BlueChew’s documentation, “Timing is everything.” The main appeal of Cialis is that you just take a daily dose, and your dick should be good to go all day long, ready to get rock hard at the drop of a hat or the flash of some titties. With Viagra’s 4-6 hour window, you’ll need to plan your fuck sessions a little bit better.

 

BlueChew goes on to talk about how the medications interact with dinner or cocktails. Fatty meals will delay the onset of the active ingredients, which means you’ll have to wait to get laid. They claim this is one of the reasons people are choosing chewable tabs that disintegrate in your mouth, but I still think that element is a gimmick.

 

If you ever fucked around trying to buy dick pills on older, scammier sites and foreign pharmacies, you’re going to be really impressed by the professionalism here. The presentation is impeccable; I was able to find any information I was looking for in a matter of seconds, and didn’t feel like they were trying to jerk me around or distract me into wasting money.

 

It’s easier than ever before for dudes to gain some extra confidence in bed with the help of a little blue pill. BlueChew offers its own chewable versions of the same dick pills used by both pornstar studs and your grandfather. The online consultation is free, with cheap prescriptions delivered if their doctors deem you eligible. Give these guys a look if you’ve been trying to find a little boost for your little guy.